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Life is precious…pay it forward.

October 8, 2010

So it’s been a tough week all around, but in the midst of the tragedies of life, beauty came from pain.

I was reminded very harshly that life is fragile when I received the news of the passing of a young man in his sophomore year of high school.  The circumstances surrounding his unexpected passing are questionable.  In all my years of ministry, I have experienced the passing of young souls, but this one hit me personally.

I was bewildered by the whole situation and was puzzled by my reaction until a dear friend of mine from my high school years touched down upon what was in my heart.  I’d been on the edge quite a few times and have lived to tell about it.  I’ve been healing so much and so well over the last 10 years of my life that I’m finally on the other side that questions, “Why?”  To my surprise, I’d asked the question like the thought of ending my own life had never crossed my mind.  Yet, here I am.

By the grace of God through the actions, prayers and love of others I can say, for certain, that times of darkness do indeed pass.  It is SO difficult to see through those moments when you’re up to your eyeballs in it and it takes people who are paying attention to notice those things.  Thank God for those amazing souls that helped me get back up.  In mourning and grieving over Friday & Saturday, I made phone calls to people that I have not spoken to in many months, sometimes years.  These people walked with me in the darkness.  They bore a light for me to help me navigate through my personal hell.  I wanted to make sure that they knew how much they mean to me by the end of that day.

The truth of the matter is that we all will die…someday.  My heart and prayers go out to the many people who have lost loved ones unexpectedly.  For those who are suffering immense pain through terminal illness, my heart and prayers go out to them as well.  I’ve witnessed my step-father suffer through pancreatic cancer, which is one of the most brutally painful cancers out there.  Either way it works, saying “goodbye” is inevitable and it takes time to work through that.

The point to my blog tonight is that I am going to count my blessings in the good things AND the challenges of life.  I am going to make sure that the people I love KNOW that I love them.  I will do everything in my power to forgive those who have hurt me and ask for forgiveness from those I have hurt.  I am going to LIVE every moment of my life in gratitude for the chance I have been given all because God gave me people in my life who reached out to me when I was in need.  I pray that I can keep my eyes open and have an open heart to help those in need, too.  It’s time to pay it forward.

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