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Topic #20: What’s the most important thing?

January 20, 2011

Topic #20

Here’s today’s topic idea, with three, count ‘em three, options (brought to you by

What’s the most important thing you’re putting off? And why haven’t you done it yet? What do you need to make it happen?

The most important thing I’m putting off is writing more music, recording and performing the best pieces.  I’m still working on my schedule for the year (it’s taking a little more time than I’d like to admit to get that together).  I’ve been in some pretty psychologically challenging situations with this WHOLE ordeal of “just getting over my bad self and getting it done!”

Truly, I never decided to study music in order to make a lucrative living out of it.  I didn’t get into music school to get into the music business and get “famous”.  I just LOVE music.  But it’s a LOVE/HATE relationship and I suspect that a lot of artists go through moments like this.  I’m just one of those oddballs who have brief moments of brilliance…that does not happen too often.  I think it’s mostly be being afraid of “succeeding” in being a musician.  It’s silly, really, because I KNOW that music is definitely in my blood…aw, heck, I was named after a composer…but I’m also one who does not have a lot of confidence in myself or my ability.

So, many folks can tell me what they think of my musicianship.  It’s wonderful to hear that others are touched by what they hear.  Unfortunately, I don’t hear what they hear and I have my doubts that like to pop up on a steady stream that constantly hums in my sphere, creating an invisible ceiling over the desire to express myself.

What will it take to get over it?  I’m just gonna have to decide what to do with what I have and make it a priority.  It’s never taken center stage with me, but perhaps it’s time.


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