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A Conversation

February 14, 2011

My ears are tickled by the trace of a voice I imagine whispering sweet nothings in a moment in a future time.

I wish that I could see what he looks like, my warrior groom, but our heavenly Father isn’t ready to reveal me to him or him to me…the ache grows deeper but only draws me more to His Most Sacred Heart.

I pace the floor of my cavernous heart, only the echo of my steps bounce sounds off the cathedral high ceilings.  Close by my side the gentle presence of Mama, my Mother, my sweetest and most patient guide.  She gently takes my hand, causing me to stop and turn my eyes to her own.

Without a word, she smiles gently and reassures me that I am where I need to be.  My lover is praying for me, again, offering up his sufferings for my soul to grow into holiness, to be ready for him to pursue me.  I break my gaze as tears of joy fill my eyes, my heart swells with gratitude.

“When?” I ask her tentatively, afraid of breaking her patience with my weary question.

She lifts my face by my chin with her gentle fingertip, “Soon, my child,” with a smile that instantly grants me peace.

“Tell him that I love him, please…that I am thankful for him…tell him–”

Her expression stops my sudden onslaught of sentiments that immediately are too much…I always talk too much.  Her smile widens as the light shines in her eyes, nothing but pure love pierces my being.

“He knows.”

I sigh.  Of course.  He would know his bride well.  His prayers have built me up to be who I have become today.  I marvel at the goodness of our Father and work of Ruach building us up, preparing us for each other.  I cannot fathom the planning, the orchestration of our journeys melding into one.  Only a Loving Father would know and He does know best.

Mama resumes her steps forward, taking me by the hand to the very center, where my Lover reigns.  I settle into the warmth of His Heart and offer Him everything I hold deep within.  He looks right through me and smiles, drawing me closer still; no judgment, but pure intense love.  I close my eyes as peace resonates through my soul, knowing and resting in the knowledge that I am His Beloved.

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