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Going Out With a Bang

December 27, 2011

I’ve disappeared off the face of the planet.

I thought that I would be able to handle the end of this year well.  Instead, life decided to do a whole other dance I didn’t expect and one that I have NO clue what the steps are.

If I could explain what I’ve been through the last couple of months, I’d best describe it all as a “re-breaking of bones”.  Granted, I have never broken a bone in my life (knock on wood):  It still feels that traumatic.

What I can do now is this: count a list of things for which, I am so GRATEFUL.

For my most amazing mother.  She is an incredible person who has such a determined will to live and give the best to her loved ones.  I understand where I get my survival skills from and I’m ever so grateful for her.

My sister is one hell of a fighter and a loving soul.  She believes in me in a way I do for others.  She’s helped me to realize that I need to believe in myself the same way.  I would be lost without her.

I’ve got the best support group of family, friends and community I could have ever asked for.  They’re not just about being holy people, they are REAL in the ways that they are called to be the BEST version of themselves.  They encourage me to do the same.

It’s time to face the monsters in my closet.  I’ve got all the resources I need to do this well.  I’m finally embracing the person I am called to be and I will not waste another moment looking at the doors that have been closed to me for years.  I will take care of what I am supposed to, I won’t blame anyone or any circumstance I’ve been handed and I will tackle everything one moment at a time.  It’s not about going fast or being perfect.  It’s about continuing to walk forward.




“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”–Winston Churchill

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