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August 17, 2013

August 2013 isn’t over yet and there have been SO many changes that occurred this summer alone.

I lost my Ninang (godmother/confirmation sponsor) Presentacion Seraspi to a 2 year battle with lung cancer on Saturday, May 25. She was a surgical nurse and never smoked a day in her life. In between her funeral and her interment (laying her cremains to rest), I got word that my job was going to part time due to budget cuts. Just as I started coming up for air, I lost one of my former youth choir members from Sacred Heart in OB, Jena Doiron, at the young age of 23 on the last Saturday of June.

It’s been a season of loss, of seeking, of re-evaluating my purpose in life. The witness of Ninang Precy and Jena blew me out of the water: life is not guaranteed and the length of it does not determine effectiveness in touching others. Also, there was so much love exuding from these 2 single women, it affirmed my life as a single woman. I posted on my FB wall a beautiful post about Celeste Ndolo. You can find her story here:

In the middle of all of the loss, I was finding my musical muscles again. I met Jenny and she changed my life. She is the sledgehammer to the walls that kept me from embracing being a musician. For the first couple of weeks, I kept saying, “She ruined my life.” My life at that point was as a person who couldn’t embrace a very vital part of her being. I was okay with thinking I just do music as a hobby, something to pass the time. She showed me that I have a voice and it needs to be heard. From the beginning of our friendship, more connections with other musicians began to take place. I’ve heard some of the most amazing sounds and met miraculous people share their lives poured out through their art. I’m totally inspired to share what I have because it’s not so much a competition, but an opportunity to bring beauty to the world TOGETHER.

All of this wouldn’t have come about if I didn’t experience the losses that occurred. I opened up to the possibilities of new relationships and new forms of expression that I never knew I had in me. Being open to the Holy Spirit has carried me into this amazing roller coaster ride into a new world. I’m being called out in a way I had never dreamed I could go. I’m actually ready to let go of what I’ve known and carry the lessons I’ve learned into this new area of the Vineyard. I’m excited about meeting new people and building community one relationship at a time.

Tomorrow is my last official day of ministry with Mission San Diego as CYM. I’ll be around to clean up a bit, but the ministry will go on under the direction of some incredible young people. My love and prayers go up for California’s first Mission. Thank you for all the ways you have helped me to grow. I carry nothing but love for you all. Please pray for me as I go out and serve the community of Our Lady of Perpetual Help as DCM. Rest assured, my dear MYG Core Team, I’ll see you in the Eucharist.




2 Comments leave one →
  1. elenagracia permalink
    August 18, 2013 8:53 am

    What a beautiful heart you have. Grief is devastating … and ultimately transforming when you choose to embrace it. Walking my own journey of intense grief I can relate to what you’re experiencing. When we choose to love, we also choose to eventually grieve. That is simply the reality of it.

    God Bless you for being brave and open to what these losses have taught you. God Bless you for being bold in your heartbreak. God Bless you for moving forward with tears streaming down your face. God Bless you for embracing the next thing with gratitude, and the people in your life with such love.

    I keep you in my prayers, beautiful one. May you continue to be blessed with healing and hope.

    • August 18, 2013 12:33 pm

      Thank you, elenagracia! God is so good and I could never have imagined how perfect His timing is. May you receive many blessings for your kindness to me.

      Funny sidebar, this is my 143rd post. 143 means “I love you” to me in my old pager days. Definitely not a coincidence. Didn’t plan that, either. 😉

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